That One Time Sena Almost Got Bitten By a Werewolf But Not Really
by Fat Bandit
Summary: Sena doesn't want to be a werewolf, Agon wants to touch Sena in bad places, and Hiruma just wants to win the Christmas Bowl- by any means possible. (Co-written with Black Fungus of Webeheartless, and we are both so very very sorry).


Mamori gives Sena a book and she tells him, "It's fantastic, you've got to read it! I think it suits you."

To Sena's complete and utter despair, the book is _Twilight. _But Mamori is a little bit cute, beautiful, and terrifyingly scary, so Sena hastily grabs the book and shoves it into his backpack with an embarrassed nod.

If Sena had a normal life with normal friends, that would have been the end of the story. Instead, Sena has a life of American football, filled with American football teammates, and an even-more-terrifying-than-Mamori American football captain named Hiruma.

"Oi, pipsqueak," Hiruma calls out with glee, "You like werewolves or something?"

Sena lets out a high-pitched squeak and makes a grab for his backpack. Hiruma smacks him away and holds out _Twilight_ over his head like a trophy.

"You're a fucking girl, I swear. But you know, this is actually really great." Hiruma gets an evil sparkle in his eye and he cackles loudly.

"I haven't even read it yet!" Sena protests feebly.

"You goddamn liar. It's dog eared in the middle and Jacob's name is all covered in stupid hearts."

Sena blushes fiercely because okay, that's kind of true. "Well, I-I didn't finish it!"

"Oh, you won't have to read the rest of it," Hiruma says evilly, "because you'll be living it."

And that's how Sena finds himself wandering out on the night of a full moon with his red sweatshirt zipped halfway down and exposing a large amount of his shirtless chest ("Fucking yes, you have to zip it down, idiot! Your pathetically scrawny chest is going to get bitten tonight, or don't even bother showing me your face tomorrow!" Hiruma yells, and Sena obediently zips down the sweatshirt because Hiruma still enjoys violating Japanese gun laws and _the safety isn't even on!_).

It's also ridiculously cold, but Sena tries to grit his teeth and think of it as training. Shin would be able to walk around with a zipped down sweatshirt without even shivering a little bit! Actually, Shin would probably remove the sweatshirt entirely, and then get rid of his pants and boxers just for thoroughness. Shin is kind of amazing.

Sena is less than kind of amazing, and he's shivering violently. It's almost been an hour. Hiruma is just a crazy person because werewolves aren't even real, but Hiruma said he would kill him if he didn't get the bite and win them the Christmas Bowl this year. Sena moans loudly because he is going to die. Then he rubs his chest because he's pretty sure his nipples have frostbite.

A soft growl comes out from the bushes to his right, and Sena jumps about three feet into the air when a shirtless man with fur on his hands and face –and holy crap, those are fangs!- appears from out of nowhere in order to loom right in front of Sena and breath over his face.

"You smell nice," the man says gruffly. Sena stares at him in absolute horror and the next thirty seconds of silence that pass are the most frightening thirty seconds of his entire life.

"I like your shirt?" the man offers weakly.

"W-what?" Sena manages to squeak out.

"Or your- your not shirt, I guess. Since you aren't wearing one." The werewolf-man scratches the back of his neck and laughs. "You just- you look really good."

Sena opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it again because asking a strange maybe-werewolf man to bite him seems kind of awkward. Sena doesn't think he can say the words "Bite me" with a straight face, and even the thought of it makes him blush.

The man starts looking at him uncertainly, and suddenly all Sena can think of is how to escape. He could run, except werewolves probably run faster than humans which is why he's out in the woods in the first place. And even if he managed to escape, Hiruma would shoot him full of holes and then no one would be able to go to the Christmas Bowl this year. Also he'd be dead. That was bad, too.

Sena wished that Mamori would show up right now and drive this man off like she drove off the bullies when they were little, and then Hiruma would blame Mamori instead of him. Sena felt a little bad for this, but this whole ordeal was technically all Mamori's fault, and Hiruma never threatened her with his weapons of mass destruction anyway.

Unfortunately, Sena is pretty sure that the person who vaults over a fallen log and crashes fist-first into the werewolf man is not Mamori. He knows this because Mamori would not call someone a "fucking werewolf trash," and Mamori wouldn't kick a fallen man until he manages to scramble to his feet and run off into the forest.

And also because Mamori doesn't have dreadlocks.

"Goddammit, I fucking hate werewolves. They are such whiny little shits. Oi, you're only bleeding a little, you baby! Stop fucking crying!"

"Agon-san!" Sena yells. And then he clamps his hands over his mouth and tries to pretend he's not there. It doesn't work.

"What the hell? Koyabashi?" Agon growls, and it's even more terrifying than honest-to-god werewolves. "That fucking pointy-eared, pointy-haired trash lied to me!" Agon is muttering to himself and Sena is cursing the gods of American football for granting his wish in the _worst possible way_, and wondering if he should take his chances and run. Light-speed vs. god speed impulse? Maybe he could use the trees as shields like he uses Kurita and the Hah-hah brothers on the field, but then Agon's gaze suddenly snaps back to him and he lets out an embarrassing squeak. "He told me there was a pretty girl being molested by werewolves!"

_And you believed him…?_ thought Sena, but he was kind of really wishing he _was_ a pretty girl right now, because then Agon would maybe take off his glasses and give him that kind look he only gives to pretty girls instead of glaring at him through the tinted glass in such a scary manner. "W-why would Hiruma-san ask you to save me?"

"Fuck if I know! All he said was, 'You can have her, but make sure she's bitten.'" Agon's eyes narrow and his gaze goes to Sena's mostly bare chest.

Sena blushes and zips his sweatshirt up all the way. Then he squeaks when Agon reaches out one large hand and unzips it all the way to the bottom. His eyes are focused on Sena's bare skin for rather longer than it would normally take to check for bite marks.

"You weren't bitten," Agon states accusatorily.

Sena gulps and shakes his head, and then gives his (scary, _scary_) rescuer a shaky smile, which disappears completely when Agon continues with, "So I can't have you."

Sena's jaw drops open.

Clearly, clearly Sena is experiencing auditory hallucinations. He hits his hand against his ear to shake out whatever water might've gotten in there. Then he says, "I'm sorry, what?"

Agnon stares at Sena angrily as if he's thinking about disembowelment.

"O-okay, umm….I-I," Sena says carefully, "I'm going to z-zip up my s-sweatshirt now." Only his hands are too shaky to grasp onto the zipper, and maybe he's crying a little bit, or maybe that's hypothermia, who knows, because this has been a terrible, terrible, completely frightening night and- Sena closes his eyes and shudders.

And suddenly there's a heavy warmth around his shoulders that feels suspiciously a lot like a leather jacket. Sena peeks his eyes open but Agnon's nowhere to be seen.

Sena isn't quite sure what he's supposed to do now, but he's pretty sure that standing around in a cold forest at night by himself isn't a good idea. So he runs home. He thinks he might have even surpassed his light-speed run. Maybe Hiruma should arrange all upcoming football games to be at night in the forest—Sena cuts that thought off because knowing Hiruma, he _actually would_.


End file.
